Losing my hair again. I thought it slowed down.
Tonight as I was sitting with my brother and grandma, my grandma looked at me and her eyes filled with tears.
Without even knowing it, I made my grandma cry.
She told me that it was sad my hair is so thin. My hair used to be so thick you couldn't even seen my scalp at all. She said that I am pale again as well.
My body is wasting away it seems like these days.
I was told the other day that I had less than 4 years before my vision is gone. My optic nerve is to damaged to even swell (which it isn't suppose to on a normal person but mine should be because of my pseudotumor).
My heart is beating irregularly lately. Sometimes the pain gets so bad I start to cry. I have surgery in 2 weeks and I am wondering if my heart will be strong enough to make it through.
I am starting to wonder if I really want to fight to keep it beating, would it honestly be so bad if it just stopped? No more pain, no more hurt, no more anything....
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