Alone

Have you ever felt completely alone?
Ever so alone you just want to curl up in a ball?

I have. I always do.

I could go out with friends but even with them i feel alone.
I love them, all of them. I just always feel out of place.

I talk to people but never really talk to them.

No one knows the whole story about me.
No one cares to know.
I would tell them if they cared enough to ask.

I think people only hear what they want, see only what they want.
I keep quiet about a lot of things, and i try to appear happy...

I guess i would rather people think that i just dont go to school.
They would rather just assume that then know that im in the hospital all that time.

Assumptions, suck.

memory:
Lying down on a bed in the emergancy room.
looking up at the ceiling yet seeing nothing.
i am completely numb.
feeling nothing at all.
nothing helps.
no one can help.
she is holding my hand but somewhere else.

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- the night the doctors' told me i almost had a stroke. the night i laughed at them when they said stress less. the night i spent feeling completely alone and no one to talk to...