Broken.
Today I realized that I can't pretend I'm okay anymore.
Im not.
I accept fully that I am broken.
Completely broken.
Last night I decided that I cant take this anymore.
Options are screaming at me.
Now is my time to pick the one that is right for me.
Things are changing in my life, so I should to.
I dont think anyone can fix what has been done.
Today I stop waiting.
Memory:
Sitting at the computer looking at songs for my 8 year old cousin.
Showing pictures of Chicago.
He asked if I would take him there one day with me.
Just him and me.
I tell him Im going to be living there and he just looks at me.
The look that tells me I just broke a piece of his heart.
He is the first person to tell me something and mean it.
That something is this: I will miss you.
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The night I found myself crying because an 8 year old is the first person to tell me i will be missed.
The night I realized I had caused him pain...
The night I decided to rethink going to Chicago.
I hope you're okay.
ReplyDeleteYou posted on the 'throught this new topic' picture secrets thread, last post on page 252. I saw your blog link and since I sometimes wish people would click mine in my signature, I decided to look at yours.
You're a good writer, though I'm sure that isn't what you're looking to hear.
If you ever need to talk, I'm here. And the people in the picture secrets thread - all a secret, dodifer... they're good listeners, good people.
I hope you're okay.