waiting

i am numb.
i am numb because of my anti-depressant.

when i forget to take it.
i get upset over small things, but i cry.



i dont know which is better...numb or pain


memory:
waiting outside for our car to pull up, so we could go to a going away party. you never came back. i waited. fell asleep waiting, even though i knew you werent coming home ever again. waiting even after they told me you were gone forever.

waiting.
waiting.
waiting.

that night you took my heart with you. that night was suppose to be a party about seeing family again and about saying goodbye to them for awhile. instead that night we said goodbye to you. they come back but you never will.

the night my grandpa died...the night i started waiting and still i havent stopped.